To start off on a lighter note, the first 10 people to comment on this journal entry get a sketch of their choice done and posted, maybe even inked if I'm feeling adventurous.

Now, to the bile....

[link]

This article has enraged me. Proper feather spitting RAGE. At first I thought it might be my meds making me irritable, so I checked with one of my friends. She became enraged as well. So it's not just me. This author has been suggested to me by a friend. I have no interest in buying his ebook, or having any dealings with him that are non-fist related.
Let's pick this apart. He lists ten mistakes of dating.

1) Being too much of a nice guy.
This annoys the hell out of me when people say 'You're too much of a nice guy for women to like you'. Would you prefer a world of jerks?
For Mr. DeAngelo, the answer is 'yes'.

"Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them."

By the way, get used to the ridiculous emphasis. It's his, not mine.

"Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION."

But being a jerk does?

"And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you. I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT."
That's right. Just get over it! Geez, are YOU still SAT around being NICE? You FOOL.

Here's the basic reason why I think women go for jerks. Jerks are confident, because they don't give a shit what people think of them. Nice guys do give a shit, and so are more cautious and inconfident. Confidence is attractive. Also, some women are commitment-phobes. One of my friends has admitted she'd rather go out with jerks and get messed about than have to break up with a nice guy because she couldn't commit.
So, if you gain confidence in yourself, you're more attractive. You can still be a nice guy. This doesn't mean some women won't choose a jerk over you, but this is their loss, not yours. Wouldn't you rather go out with someone who liked you for being a genuinely nice guy than because you pretend to be an ass?

"Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want."

Oh please Mr. DeAngelo, tell us how we can change ourselves for the better!
I also love the emphasis on FACT. Just say that sentence out loud with the emphasis on FACT. It's not refutable. It's a fucking FACT. DEAL WITH IT.

2) Trying to make a woman like you.
I can't fault him on this one, you can't change a woman's mind. Best not to try.
Actually I can fault him. He's STILL putting EMPHASIS on SEEMINGLY random words.

3) Seeking a woman's approval.
Again, the man has a point. This ties into confidence again. You're more sure of yourself when you're confident.

4) Buying affection.
True, this NEVER EVER works. Never. Women never go out with men who buy them expensive things. It just plain NEVER HAPPENS. Not even to rappers.
He makes a good point though; again tied to confidence. Unfortunately you can get the same advice for free from the episode of the Simpsons where Moe gets a girlfriend.

5) Sharing “How You Feel” Too Early In The Relationship With Her
How early is too early? Does his book tell you EXACTLY when to say it? Do you never say it and wrack the woman with inconfidence you're only with her for the sex? Or neither of you say it and the relationship dies of apathy?
Seeming too keen puts women off, granted. But seeming like you aren't bothered is just as off-putting. Best thing to do is show you're interested in a jokey way until you're properly serious. While women might run if you said 'I think you're the best thing to happen to me in years', most wouldn't if you said 'Well I wouldn't kick you out of bed'.

6) Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women
"Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION. You need to accept this fact, and deal with it."

Erm. Okay. This makes sense, as some women have attractions that have nothing to do with looks (One girl I dated fancied David Mitchell.)

"Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks."

Holy shits, it took five years!? I kind of noticed when I was at school how some women were inexplicably attracted to trollfolk.

"If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman. But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this. And ANY guy can learn how..."

Oh please Mr. DeAngelo, share your forbidden secrets with us!
This goes back to confidence again. Confidence shows in body language. But hold on there, Mr. DeAngelo.... You told us in number 2 you can't MAKE a woman like you... Now you're telling us we CAN make them like us if we learn your secret mating dance?

7) Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks
It doesn't TAKE money and looks. They help though. Attractive people are more outwardly confident. Rich people are more confident, because they have money. It comes back to confidence. Women don't want to be morale boosters for inconfident men. Unfortunately the more doughy bodied of us lack confidence because we don't like who we see in the mirror, and who do we see women fall over? Brad Pitt. George Clooney. Johnny Depp. Orlando Bloom. It's easy to see why we get inconfident so quickly.

"There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet... And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys. YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome."

Personality traits that attract women? Could this be that CONFIDENCE I've been bleating on about? Oh, and thanks for telling us we don't have to 'make do' in relationships.

8) Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women

"Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!"

Good point. Show some backbone! Be spontaneous, you choose where to go or what to do for the night! But thanks for linking 'nice guys' to 'wussies' there, Mr. D, really making the point.

Now, before we get to number 9, I want you to brace yourselves. This is hilarious. Well, it would be if it wasn't so rage-inducing.

9) Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women

That's right kids! If you don't know how to act in every conceivable scenario involving a woman, you are doomed to die alone and unloved! Mr. D even says as much,

"If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING. And you KNOW it."

What's that, Mr. D? Playing on the fears of the inconfident? Making women out to be like playing Halo 2 on Legendary difficulty? With no checkpoints?

"Now I'm going to blow your mind... A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking. Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES."

For some reason the word 'ten' only gets the emphasis once in the first sentence. But that's not the part that BLEW MY MIND. Apparently women have PSYCHIC POWERS. Who'd've known?

"I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it."

NO WAY. NO. FUCKING. WAY. You're telling me when I go out on a DATE with a woman, she knows I want to kiss her? THIS IS NEWS TO ME. Of COURSE I want to kiss her, numb-nuts, we're on a frickin' DATE! If I didn't think 'Boy, I really hope kissing is on the agenda tonight' I wouldn't be going on a date with her!

"And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!"

That's right. Women aren't humans, after all. They're Psychic Ice Fortresses who will sit on the opposite end of the table of you, mocking your hesitation. This is EXACTLY what happens on EVERY date that has EVER happened.

"It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom."

Get that? It's VITAL you know EXACTLY what to do. Now, I'm a neuroses wracked, inconfident mess that's kept together by antidepressants, and even I know to TRUST INSTINCT. No-one can teach you how do get things exactly right. For a start, it's different with different women. You can't teach common sense. Also, despite some of my own experiences, most reasonable women are forgiving if you get something wrong. You're not expected to be 100% at all times or instant fail no save.

Get ready for the big finale....

10) Not Getting HELP

Why yes David, now you've crushed our nice-guy spirits under your boot, we'll surely beg you for advice!

"One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a woman I wanted to ask out, but I just couldn't get up the nerve to do it. I can still remember that night... right on the spot I made the decision to do whatever it took to learn how to be successful with women and dating."

He then went to learn. For FIVE YEARS.

"I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almost instantly. I've dated models, I've dated actresses, and I've dated nice, normal, regular girls as well."

Because remember models and actresses are not like regular women. They're beautiful all the time, they never slouch at home eating pizza in a shirt and pants, and they never, ever poop.

Truth is, you just have to learn confidence. It can't be taught. No-one can tell you 'You will look into the mirror and like who you see'. You need to do that yourself.
But hey, who am I to rip into a relationship master like David? I'm not known for my success with women. This is because I know I'm inconfident, but I'm improving. I don't need to buy an ebook to be confident. No, make that I can't buy an ebook to make me confident. It doesn't work like that.
And if I can get angry and pick holes in this guys advice, hell, ANYONE can.